The Cat's Meow

I am not a cat person. Never have been, and never “thought” I would be. Now if you are a cat person please don’t get your fur all in a ball. I didn’t say I don’t like “some” cats… but rarely do I meet one that makes me think… “Man I’ve got to get me one of those!”

And maybe it’s just that my heart is being starved for puppy love right now that this is even a blog topic. But I’m obsessing about cats... in China!

It started with the crazy hybrid “cats in a box” Mikey told me about. There is a mall… yes another friggin mall… attached to our apartment building. It’s nice because it has some fairly good restaurants in it and when it’s -3 degrees celsius outside, like it is today, we don’t have to venture outside for dinner.

These “cats in a box” are in this mall; first floor… right next to the kiosk selling underwear. They are gorgeous… the cats, not the undies! They’re some kind of hybrid that strongly resembles a cheetah or a jaguar. I can’t stop looking at them; I must have 20 pics of them (so far)!

 Matt has seen them too. Now I know he’s not a cat guy; he’s even allergic. But he doesn’t shut me down near as quickly as Mikey does when I say “We’ve got to get us one of these cats!” In fact, I think he’s somewhere closer to my camp than Mikey’s… they’re that cool.

The obvious question is… “What are they doing in that box?” And the answer is… I have no friggin idea! But most days I have to wait patiently, to get up to the plexi-glass, to take the same damn picture I took the day before because that many people come by to see these damn cats in a box!

And they seem very happy in there; it’s filled with lots of cat toys and cat thingy-jigs.  But the whole set-up does lend itself to lots of questions. Namely… what are they doing in that fucking box? And do they go home at night? Is this home? So many questions!

Then today… more cats! Lots and lots and lots of cats.

I was wandering around that same mall… yes I snapped today’s obligatory cat pic… looking for the new laundry service I’m going to use… since I’m a total failure at Chinese laundry! One hallway led to another, and to another, and… Holy Cat-Piss… what the hell is that?!?

 There was a small, do I dare say, café? I saw a few people in there. And there were books on shelves but it seemed more library-like than bookstore-ish. But are those cats wondering around? What could this be? I had no choice… I entered!

Through two sets of glass doors, mind you… what is up with this place?  I bee-lined it right over to a snoozin cat who I became fast friends with; at first I startled him but then he rolled over insisting I rub his ample belly.

I wondered around a bit, I think my chin was on the floor and my mouth was gaped wide open. I took a seat at a table, because that’s what the two other people in there had done, and a little gal who thankfully spoke “some” english handed me a “rule card” and a menu. I ordered a latte and a piece of green tea cheesecake; my entry fee for this front row seat to crazy-cat town was paid!

The place is called “Meow Time”. I spent an hour there and came out no more informed regarding what the hell it is than when I went it. I stand by my first impression that it’s an internet café with (and for) cats. There were 9 cats that I counted while sitting there and that doesn’t count the few who wondered in and out the cat door to God knows where! (See cat door, in pic below, between sleeping kitty in hammock and lazy-ass cat sunning himself under a heat lamp.)

 These cats were in hammocks, on top of the book shelves, on cat perches, and just wondering around looking for an occasional scratch of the head. No one else there seemed too interested in these felines, they were there for the internet and snacks.

But after a while I came to my senses; I’d simply had enough cat time for one day. Maybe even a life time. And the good news is, I walked right past the “cats in a box” on my way home and as the real looker and I made eye contact… I gave nary a nod.

Although for a short while today I could have been confused with one of those crazy cat ladies… I think it’s clear now. I’m missing my pups.

 Whoof.

Young Wanderlust

I’ve not had any contact with Nicholas, or his pals Ben and Belen, for over a week now. They are deep into Torres Del Paine National Park, (Chile), where they are hiking the “W” circuit. 

Before they left Kansas City, on December 28th, there were some meetings between Ben’s folks, and Mike and me. Jeff and Mike, in particular, know the route they are taking AND when to expect cell service… which is basically when they exit the park 10 days after they entered it! I think we’re on Day 6 or 7 now.

As a Mama Bear… this is excruciating. Here they are, 19 years old, on the biggest trip of their lives… alone, literally half a world away from me, and I have no way to know for certain that they are safe, and fed, and happy. 

But I have my faith and my gut… both of which tell me everything is fine.

Also… Belen’s folks, Pablo and Monica, were their gracious hosts… along with Belen’s grandparents, Toto and Monica. Home base for them has been Belen’s grandparents farm just south of Santiago, and they’ve visited family in a few other magnificent towns, (including Valparaiso which you see in the above pic and is now on my very own bucket-list!), the days before they left for the park. So we do have “boots on the ground”, in country, which goes a long way toward calming this mama’s nerves. Thank you Maluenda families!

But thankfully my fears are dwarfed by my pride. As I sit at my dining room table, typing this while overlooking the Beijing skyline, I am giddy about the adventure these kids are on. I can truly relate!

They have guts, these three. It’s easy to dream. It’s not as easy to put a plan into action… especially one as lofty as hiking the Patagonia your sophomore year in college! I won’t go so far as to say they’re fearless… and thank God for that; they are aware bad things happen out there, even in the most beautiful places on earth. But they do feel a little invincible… which is not all bad. Didn’t we all feel that way in our youth?

I am also terribly envious! Although Mike and I are on our own worldly adventure… we’re not as free as these kids. We have real grown-up responsibilities back at home. Whereas all they have is to make sure they are back for the start of classes on January 17th!

Belen was born in Chile, but has lived in the U.S. since she was (I believe) 8 years old. Ben, along with his twin brother Nicky, was born in France and came to the states before the start of school. And my Nick was born in Overland Park, Kansas… wha-wha-whaaaa. The three of them met in elementary school and have basically been inseparable ever since; even after Belen moved with her family to Miami following their freshman year of High School.

So this trip does not surprise me; they have all three been exposed to travel their entire lives. I am so proud of their courage, their devout friendship to each other, and their wanderlust. I hope they inspire others, young and old, to travel to far away places; it is never too late!

I messaged my friend Shelly, who happens to be Ben’s mom, when I woke up this morning. She and Belén's folks are my common denominator; we offer each other comfort when one of us is starting to freak out! I told her how I am sandwiched between these feelings of pride and dread. I’m so proud of who they were when they left but I know they will come back as different people. Travel does that to you… it just does. And I’m finding it really, really hard, as a mom, to let go of that child… as he becomes a man.

Shelly put it best when she wrote back: “Yes, the kids will come back changed, but in a very good way! We are so lucky to have our boys! I’ve always wanted to travel the world (still have a long way to go on that!) and want my kids to do the same because, yes, it does open your mind and humbles you when you realize not everybody thinks exactly like you and that’s okay! In fact, it’s exactly as it should be! And that “A-haa” moment, when the world opens before you and enriches you in ways never before dreamed of!”

My heart is bursting with joy for Nick, Ben, and Belen… they are on a trip of a lifetime that will surely forge their friendship for their entire lives. And I am giving a virtual pat on the back to Shelly, Jeff, Philippe, Monica, Pablo, Mike, and myself… we’ve done a hell of a job with these three kids; I love them all! But that doesn’t mean I will ever stop mourning the children they once were. God speed.

And if you’re reading this kiddos… call your mothers. Now!!!

And so it begins...

We’re four hours into our Detroit-Beijing leg and I think my mind is finally starting to slow down and sort all it’s thoughts. I’ve known, since August, about our impending move to China; it seems that would be more than enough time for me to get my shit together. But instead… the last two days were a complete frenzy trying to get really important things, that I had of course procrastinated on, done.

For instance: I went to our Safe Deposit box three times in two days… (and I still ended up with a pile of crap I’m relying on Jordie to get in there for me!) I only put a change-of-address request in on Monday of this week. My new drivers license? I cut that so close that as of Friday… it was still not in my mailbox!

None of this actually surprises me… or anyone in my family for that matter. When Mikey asked me, last night, “What all did you put in our carry-on?”, I replied... “Our life.” And that’s not too far from the truth. I’ve had an ever-growing pile of papers on my desk at home with a tiny little hot-pink sticky on the top of it. The sticky reads… “Deal with this shit.”  Guess where that pile is right now? Yep… in the overhead bin above me. That and all our meds… including a six-month supply of both Ambien and Xanax for me. I’ll either sleep through the occasional difficult moments, (we’re sure to face a few), or maybe not even be aware of them at all!

But this time tomorrow starts my new life. And that life includes, for now at least, very little structure or responsibility. So I’ll chip away at that pile, and anything else that I either blew off or it flat out didn’t occur to me to deal with, via the oft-spotty Chinese internet. What’s done is done and what is not will surely find it’s way to me even though I moved half-way around the world to escape it! Hopefully it will be on the slow boat to China! (Bam!)

But what I’d like to use the rest of this inaugural ‘Beijing Bakers’ blog post for, is to regurgitate some of those thoughts that have been rapid cycling in my brain these past few days. Hold on tight, get a glass of wine or a cup of Joe, depending on when you’re reading this; there is after all a 14-hour time difference between Beijing and Kansas City… I’m ahead!  Here goes!

Some of you have been long time readers of my blog, ChrissyCan. For those who are new to it, I began blogging in 2005 when most people didn’t even know what a blog was. I include myself in that group. I am self-taught, and a little rusty now, but I’ll get back up to speed. The short of it, (right… when do I ever give an abridged version of anything), is I was desperately looking for a way to cheat, on replying to emails, when we moved to Texas. I was just “one person”, who left a whole lot of friends and family behind when we moved down to Clear Lake, TX for Mike’s job. This collective group would email me frequently. Email has never been a strong suit of mine and I found it excruciating to reply to each and every one. So I started cutting and pasting my replies and just changing a few details to personalize it… lame I know. “There has to be a better way”, I thought. And damn if there wasn’t. And that folks, is how my blog began.  

I haven’t consistently blogged in a long time… I blame it on Facebook! I used to craft a story that sometimes took hours. All of a sudden we were living in a world of instant gratification. A mere thought could be regurgitated into a FB post in a few lines and bam it was over. I will still post there; don’t think I’ve gone completely off the deep end… but I am looking forward to getting back to my roots. Writing.

There are a few disclosures I’d like to make, especially for you newbies. I cuss. I cuss a fucking lot. Consider yourselves warned.

I also don’t get hung up on proper grammar or punctuation… although let it be known… I am a fan of the Oxford Comma AND 2 spaces at the end of a sentence… although I am working on that last one. Other than that… you purists are just going to have to get over it. I write like I speak… gasp! I was born in and raised by a New Yorker… I often drop my “G’s”. I’m not fuckin kiddin.

Sometimes I’m funny. Real fuckin funny. I know that. You know that. But if you’ve been with me for the long haul you also know that I lay it all out there too. When my heart is breaking, you will probably cry along with me. When I’m pissed… trust me you’ll know it. If every third post of mine is a hit, that’d be an incredible stat. Don’t expect it!

I don’t blog about Mikey. He’s off limits. But if you promise not to tell anyone I’ll let you in on a secret. Sometimes I do, but I back-date it so he doesn’t see it! Not that he would see it anyway… he doesn’t read my blog. Honest! Neither did my mom. I still can’t shake that… my own mutha didn’t read my blog. Guess I’m not all that after all! BTW… I do use categories on the blog, you’ll see them listed down the right-side margin. There’s no real science to it and quite frankly I’m only thrilled with a few of them but this thing will be 11 years old this year… there’s no going back now! (But if you are looking for good stuff on Mikey… there may or may not be a category for him listed there. But don’t tell him that!)

Most posts are not this long. But some are. Deal or move on.

Comments. Not gonna lie… I love your comments. But from what I remember, and it has something to do with the way I set up my privacy settings, I think you might have to jump through a couple of hoops your first time. But once you do… you’re golden. Quite frankly, I don’t remember what they are, register with Google or something… I’d check for you but I only decided to pay the $40 bucks for International Wi-Fi four hours into the flight and we lost it one hour after that! So check for yourselves. Or better yet… comment on this post, jump through said hoops, and make me a happy chick!

You can also “subscribe” to my blog. All that means is that you will get an email letting you know when I’ve posted. That’s important because we all know what I have to say is of the utmost importance in the world. Ok, ok… at least (hopefully) I’ll supply you with a morning giggle to go along with your coffee! Again… I’ve not really been active on my blog for a while so if that link to subscribe is working properly or not, I could not tell you right now. Again… I’m flying blind here, (Oh, how I love a good pun!) so check it out for yourself if you’d like. I think it’s, again, on the right side of the page but you’ll have to scroll down toward the bottom.

I’m happy to be back again writing; it’s my one true passion. And if you’ll humor me just a little bit longer I would like to write a few words about writing a personal blog in hopes that others will use this medium to find their inner voice and maybe share their experiences. 

Blogging, especially one with no real purpose other than to, let’s call it what it is… online journaling with a twist of voyeurism… is fucking hard. The writing part isn’t hard, words flow like water… sometimes hot lava… for some of us; I’m blessed to be one of those people. But it takes balls. Big balls. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to, but the angst that builds right before you hit the “Publish” button is huge! First it’s the content… is it good enough? Did I fuck up my grammar and punctuation too badly? Did I cuss too much? And the biggest fear of all… did I expose myself… the good (entertaining), the bad (lame posts), and the ugly (exposing weakness and vulnerability) in a way that I can never get back? It’s scary; words written in truth are sometimes raw. But I have never once deleted a single post I’ve written; that’s a statistic I intend to keep. As much as, many of you tell me, you get from some of my writing, believe you me… I get ten-fold more.  Writing is sanity to me. It frees my rapid cycling brain and offers me, at least in the short term, a peaceful, quiet mind. So if you’ve ever thought about blogging but get tripped up by the very fears I just mentioned… power through and do it. For you!

I have no idea what this new chapter of ChrissyCan will look like. But I sure appreciate you coming along for the ride!

I’ll finish up now with one final thought. I really wanted to title this post, “I’m moving to FUCKING Beijing” but I hadn’t yet covered that whole “I cuss” thang. Now you know.

My parents moved back to New York City in 1983 or 84; I'm not sure which. But I am sure that I felt very much abandoned by them, especially on holidays. I was the only one left in Kansas; Toby had moved to upstate New York to pursue her Phd and TC to southern Orange County for some California dreamin, years before my parents finally pulled up stakes. I wasn’t really surprised by their move; they’d been saying, basically since they moved us here in 1971, “Kansas is a good place to raise a family. But as soon as we do that… we’re outta here!” Sometimes I felt like they couldn’t wait for me to grow up.

But the feeling of abandonment quickly gave way to one of opportunity... and fun. Lots and lots of fun! My little humble abode became the go-to house for all my friends, (and lots of their friends), to gather on holidays... especially Thanksgiving, when few could afford to travel home. Collectively, we cobbled together a Thanksgiving meal. I remember making the turkey, not because I was any good at it, but because my employer gave me a free one every year! My two other specialties were sweet potato casserole and dressing; man I could throw down some dressing!

Years passed, friends married or moved away, I met Mikey, and the rest… as they say, is history. In retrospect, what that really meant for me, was that my cooking was history; Mikey is the cooker man in our family!

But lo and behold... I found myself in similar circumstances as 30 years ago, this week, because of my inability lately to look more than 2 days ahead! So just to cover my bases, (and admittedly prompted by the frozen butterball I found in the downstairs freezer while searching for wine), I picked up a few goodies at the store on Wednesday. Today... I set out to see if I still had it in me. The turkey is obviously overcooked... and why he looks like I do when I'm sleeping, all curled up on one side, is beyond me! But my dressing is SPOT on, and how can anyone screw up sweet potato casserole?!? I have wine, Netflix, crappy weather and fabulous memories of those days, I thought I'd been abandoned, to keep me company tonight.

So as I prepare to join Mike, in Beijing soon, I look forward to watching my own kids find their new normal, for just a couple of years, and I know from my own lessons that although it won't be easy at first... it will be worth it! The friends I made back then, alongside those delicious holiday dinners, are the same ones I count on today. And fortunately, for both me and Mike, they will be there for Jordie and Nick when they need a hand, a hug, or a good community meal!! ‪