Showing posts with label Domestic Goddess. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Domestic Goddess. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

You Say Tomato, She Says Tomahto…

                             


I say “Eh”…



I’ve never been a fan of the tomato. I don’t add them to my salad; I’m not tempted by the cherry variety that I set out on the counter for my kids in the summer. If I was sitting along the canal in Venice, and a dreamy Italian man offered me fresh tomatoes with homemade mozzarella, I’d only reach for the cheese. And the vino of course!


I like red sauce on pasta only. I do not want it on chicken; I do not want it on veal. I only like it sparingly on my pizza.


Sun dried tomatoes however, I adore. The only explanation I can dream up for this anomaly is, you soak anything in good extra virgin olive oil and it turns to magic.


But last night … I started a love affair with the simple tomato.


Since trying to shed some excess poundage as of the first of the year, I knew fresh fruits and vegetables would have to become part of my daily diet. Typically my day, culinarily speaking… is comprised of processed foods. Even when trying to lose weight, I live on Lean Cuisines, Power Bars, Slim-fast shakes; rarely does a fresh fruit or vegetable enter my body. I know now, "I’ve got to change my evil ways... baby!”


Enter the Barefoot Contessa, aka: Ina Garten.

Mike has lots of cookbooks hanging around. Sometimes I flip through the pages in hopes of finding something, anything… to inspire me to cook. After numerous failed attempts, I am finally at peace with marking the pages and leaving them out for Mikey to fix.


One day recently, I was sitting in my friend Kim’s swanky new kitchen watching her seamlessly throw together a pan of fresh veggies to roast; they looked delish. When I expressed how impressed I was by her culinary talent, she shamelessly reached over and held up the Contessa’s “Back to Basics” cookbook.


“Hey, we’ve got that” I declared having recognized the cover. Then Kim poured us another glass of wine and that was that.


A week or so later I was back to carousing the cookbooks and there she was… the Contessa herself, right under the Artisan Bread cookbook Toby sent Mike for Christmas. I thumbed through the pages and found the “oven roasted vegetables” recipe. Not only did I make that, (which was a piece of sugar-free cake!) but the “parmesan-roasted broccoli” was to die for too; the kids liked it so much I’ve made it two more times since!


Admittedly, if the Contessa didn’t have such gorgeous pictures of food accompanying her recipes, I doubt I would have ever tried the “roasted tomatoes with basil”. It was after all, well… tomatos. But I could almost hear them sizzling off the glossy page of that cookbook.  The sweet smell of the rich balsamic vinegar, coupled with the roasted garlic carmelized in extra virgin olive oil was oozing through as well.  I could smell it, I swear . So last night, I gave them a try.


Oh my God.

That’s really all I can say. OMG, OMG… who knew a simple tomato, a winter tomato at that, could be so damn tasty?


I went right back to the store today and bought ten more. I cooked them up for lunch and ate every single one of them. I ate TEN tomatoes… in one day!


You may say tomato, and she may say tomahto.


I just say… "bring ‘em on, roasted with basil please!"


Note:  The picture in the cookbook is oh so much prettier than mine.  But I could not find it online to link  anywhere, so my image will have to suffice! 

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Telephone Manners

I called the phone number my neighbor gave me to inquire about a house cleaner.
I was told that “Patrecia” doesn’t speak English very well and that her husband may need to get on the phone.
Being the babbler that I am, my introduction went something like this…

“Hi my name is Chris. Patrecia cleans two of my neighbors homes and comes very highly recommended. Is she available to speak to me regarding cleaning my home as well?”

There was a very personable, older lady on the other end of the phone…

“I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong number dear.”

“Is this 816-216-blah blah blah blah?” I inquired.

“Yes it is but it’s a new listing, I just got this number last week.”

“Oh, I apologize; I’ll scratch it out and won’t bother you again.”

“That’s ok honey, what kind of house cleaner are you?”
(Now that’s funny. Obviously I’m a shitty one lady!)

“No, I’m looking for a house cleaner.” I declare.

“Oh… well I know of a wonderful woman, her name is Laura. She has a real cleaning service with a real name for her company. I can’t recall what it is right now though. I just can’t remember things like I used to.”

Well, I really appreciate that but I have another number for the gal I’m trying to find. If I don’t get hold of her, maybe I can call you back and you’ll remember it by then.”

“Actually” she said, “if you call Edna at the Hyvee on 91st Street, she’s the manager of the meat and cheese trays, Laura works for her a couple of nights a week when the teenagers want a night off. You can call up there, ask for Edna and she can give you Laura’s number.”

At this point I’m looking around my house for a hidden candid camera!

“I’ll be sure and do that Mam and thank you so much for all your help.”
(I’m now so thoroughly confused that I’ve got myself believing I actually sought out her help!)

I didn’t find a hidden camera but I may have found the moral of the story…

Always remember your telephone manners.
You never know when there’s going to be a sweet old lady on the other end who just wants to chat.

And oh yeah, one more thing…

I apparently have way too much time on my hands and should probably clean my own damn house!


Friday, September 1, 2006

SAHM I am…

Not.

There is nothing “stay at home” about a “Stay at home Mom” (SAHM).

So far this morning…

I’ve welcomed another child into our home at 6:45 a.m. (!!!) so his parents could go away on their little anniversary LOVE trip to Chicago.
You listening Mikey?

I’ve run Nick to school to participate in some “before school” activity.
There’s a perfectly good waste of my Bus money.

Jordan has, once again, forgotten her homework that she “HAS TO HAVE BY SECOND HOUR MOM!”

And I’ve run to Target to pick up a birthday gift that I’ve known I’ve needed for 2 weeks now but as usual, have procrastinated.
The party is right after school, so I’m out at the crack of dawn. (Ok, 8ish)

I’m home just long enough to swallow another pot of coffee before I hit the road again to do the things other people need me to do for them.
(Because I’m a SAHM!)

Stay at home Mom?
My ass!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Are We Having Fun Yet?

We leave on vacation Friday,
We’ll be gone for a week.
I’m flippin exhausted already!

Remember when you were a kid and went on vacation?
One day you were playing in the backyard with the neighbor kids,
The next you were 1000 miles away on a beach somewhere.
A week later…you’re back playing with the neighbor kids oblivious to the amount of work it took (someone) for you to have all that fun.

How DID that magic happen?
WHO made that magic happen?

I know, I know…
Mom did!!!

She figured out where we were going and when.
How we were getting there and more importantly how we were going to pay for it.
She also had the 4-1-1 on what there was to do and see on our vacation destination.

Mom would pack us.
Stop the mail and newspaper.
Board the dogs.
Get the neighbor kid to mow the grass and his mom to water the flowers.

The contents of the fridge were rationed out with great precision a few days prior to leaving.
The house was cleaned and the laundry done.
Upon our return…
She was the one who transitioned us back into everyday life.

No wonder Mom always had a supply of crisp 5 dollar bills for the plane trip!
“Red wine” I can still hear her say to the stewardess when she came by with the beverage cart..
Only then, with that first well deserved sip did her vacation actually begin.

Well I’m the Mom now…
And I’ve got three more days till then.
Someone, quick…lock up the booze!

And just so I’m clear here…
God help the first kid who says “I’m bored”!!!
God help them!!!

Friday, January 13, 2006

The Upside of Insomnia…

It’s 2 a.m. and I’m fighting the Sleep Gods again.
I’m wise enough to know at this point in my life when to throw in the towel.

Another wise man once told me this little ditty about life in general:
“It’s all how you frame it” he told me on more than one occasion.

I could stay in bed, tossing and turning and cussing the Sleep Gods,
Or I can re-frame the situation.

I chose the latter.
The up-tick in that?
My master bath is spit-shine, Lysol brain cell killing clean.
The oven, which was put on the automatic clean mode before bed last night has been rinsed out.
And several pair of shoes have been put back into their rightful box.

There was a day when I would have made fun of people like me.
But now I’m a believer…
When your Ambien is “lost in the mail”…
Never, never piss off the Sleep Gods!

There’s goes the coffee buzzer…
Game on.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Vacuuming Sucks…Literally

My family thinks I’m anal.
OCD is another term they like to throw around.
This morning…I played right into their accusations!

It was 4a.m. and I couldn’t sleep.
(Did I mention I’m an insomniac as well?!?)
So I started cleaning the house.
Really cleaning the house.

One might even suggest I got carried away.
I’m a vacuum freak; I’ll vacuum anything or anyone.
Today…the top of the gas range seemed like a good idea.

Warning to all other vacuum freaks.
DO NOT VACCUM THE GAS STOVE.
REPEAT…
DO NOT VACCUM THE GAS STOVE.

Funny thing about fire and how fast it travels.
Apparently the force of the vacuum sucked the pilot light right into the end of my hose.
It was quite a light show…trust me on this one!

So now the Oreck sits in the middle of my kitchen as I down my 4th cup of Joe. Something tells me it’s not going anywhere and I’m going to have a long day.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

And I Stayed Home for This???

When embarking on a new life, be it by your own choice or not…the reality of that life does not always align with the original vision. A show home and incredible nightly cuisine, using only fresh ingredients, may indeed have once been my own vision…but sometimes, Reality Sucks!


It’s Thursday afternoon. Mike will be home tonight for the weekend. Time for me to “kick it up a notch” (or seventeen), and pull myself out of slugdom. It’s amazing how you can do so little because no one is watching, but the minute you know someone is, or will be soon…Vrooooooooooom…overdrive.

I’ve got it down to where I can clean; I mean really clean this house in a couple of hours. That may have something to do with my OCD which disallows the children to play with anything, eat away from the kitchen table or use a towel less than 5 days in a row…but who knows.

My dilemma of the moment is dinner. Considering I only make it umm…3 times a week is a fair average guess, it shouldn’t be that difficult trying to come up with a culinary marvel. Rachel Rays “30 Minute Meals”…yeah right Rache…is pretty much yesterdays leftovers,. I have 2 volumes of Cooking Light, again…whatever, so I have no other choice but to look to the newspaper. It is after all “Food Section” day.

Someone submitted the following “World Famous” (???) recipe:

5 Can Casserole
1 can tuna1 small can evaporated milk1 can chicken noodle soup1 can cream of mushroom soup1 can chow mein noodles
Mix all the cans in 1 1/2 qt casserole (open them first), and bake uncovered at 350ยบ for 45 minutes uncovered. Let it sit for a few minutes after taking it out, as the temp is still nukular.
Now eat it.

Again folks…you can’t make this shit up!