Mikey Beware...

I am not a tough gal to buy for when it comes to Christmas. Mikey would probably tell you differently, but I’m really not; Christmas is for the kids.



The one thing however, that is a staple under the tree for me each year is a refill bottle of both bath gel and moisturizer from Lady Primrose of Dallas. The fragrance is called Necture, and is not available year round, but it is at Christmas time.


I was first introduced to this product in Cabo San Lucas when Mike and I spent our ten-year anniversary at Las Ventanas; hands down the most incredible boutique resort we have ever been to. We had our own private beachfront villa with an infinity pool and Jacuzzi, and an outdoor shower that we still can’t stop talking about. Each day the staff would refill our hand-blown glass decanter, made by a local artisan with Lady Primrose products; Necture is Las Ventanas’ signature scent. There were so many amenities at LV, we had to literally pinch ourselves every day we were there, but the bath product was the one thing I knew I could take home with me (literally, you should have seen the inside of my suitcase!)


Our first Christmas after that memorable trip, Mikey bought me several products from their Necture line; they came in elegant crystal decanters. Every Christmas since, I can depend on refill bottles to keep my memories of that trip alive. As an added bonus, the gorgeous gift-wrap they arrive in reminds me of that time, when everything around us was stunningly beautiful.


This year however, Mikey ran into a little hic-cup. In all fairness to him, he has had once crazy year. He seems to be on the road more than he is home and he tackled a huge home improvement project, which is still getting the finishing touches on it this week… his (non)vacation!


That said... Mikey failed to secure my Lady Primrose before the one store in town that carries it sold out. In a near panic, he called Jordie from the store and told her to get online, it was Tuesday afternoon at this point, and order it from the Lady Primrose site. “I don’t care what it costs or how much shipping is… get it done” he said.


Suffice it to say, Jordie passed the buck and the problem landed in my lap. Oh, what a gift that turned out to be! At the “end” of the order, it offers you a chance to write a “note” … hand-written mind you… to be enclosed with the magnificently wrapped package. I could not resist…


In the comments section, I first wrote this: Please ignore the sappy message below. I obviously had to order my own gift because my husband procrastinated and Annabelle’s here in Leawood, KS is now out of my Necture! He must pay!!!


For a mere $58 in shipping costs, I think you will agree with me… it was well worth it!

And as an added bonus, Lady Primrose wrote a note to me on the back…

Mikey’s face was priceless, the kids busted a gut, and I have a great story that will give me years of entertainment!

Merry Christmas to me!

My First Christmas in Heaven... 2010

I am re-posting a beautiful poem my niece Kacee gave to me right after her mother, my sister, TC died three years ago. As some of you know TC died Thanksgiving weekend, which makes me very aware that for some people, the holidays are a struggle with so much perceived happiness and joy going on around us.



This year I post it in honor of people who have touched my family’s lives and we will miss them.


Grandpa Kenny: a wonderful husband to Mike’s Mom Marlene, an incredible father to Mike and Robin, a fun and loving Grandpa to Bret, Eric, Christine, Jordie, Nick, Anthony and Luke. Nick Francis: a good friend to my family for many, many years, and also a wonderful husband and father. Two of Jordan's classmates whose lives ended tragically and senselessly, Kevin and Connor.  And special love tonight, to Mrs. Umbach… my friend Karen’s mom, who is under hospice care this Christmas Eve night. Pat is a woman of great faith who exudes grace and dignity at all times. My prayers are with her and the entire Umbach family, as they struggle through this horrendously sad holiday season.


If you too have someone you have lost this year or year’s past, and this poem touches you the way it did me, I encourage you to list his or her name in my comments section. Sometimes it helps to know you are not alone.


My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless trees around the world below.
With tiny lights, like heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear.
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.



I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description to hear the angel sing.



I know how much you miss me.
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.



So be happy for me dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.



I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all “Love” is the gift, more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.



Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.
For I can’t count the blessings or love he has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away the tear.
Remember, I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.



(Anonymous)



We love and miss you TC.

Merry Christmas Everyone...

And Happy New Year...

Tickle Me Pink, uh…Green

My niece’s son Dakoda is an Elmo freak.
So when I heard the new 10th anniversary “Tickle Me Elmo” was being unveiled on Tuesday, I made a mental note to pick one up if I was out and about.
Christmas is after all just 3 months away.

Sure enough I found myself driving past a Target Tuesday morning.
I stopped in and headed right for the toy department.
2 stockmen were setting up an Elmo display.

“Do you have the new Tickle Me Elmo or am I too late” I asked.
“I haven’t seen him” the one guy told me.
“Would they be by the stuffed animals?”
He shrugged.

“Well he’s here somewhere, your Sunday ad said so and you better find him because there are going to be hordes of people here any minute fighting for one!” I insisted.

Clearly unmoved by my Elmo enthusiasm, he shrugged again as he continued to unload the discreet boxes.

“What’s in the box?” I asked him.
“Don’t know” he said.
“Well let’s take a look.”
“Can’t”.
“Why not?”
“It’s top secret”.

Aha!!!

“It’s HIM isn’t it? Elmo is in the box!”
“I don’t know Mam”

Arghhhhhhhhhh!!!

The packaging on this box is unbelievable.
There is no way to see what’s inside.
If you try to open it, Elmo’s squeaky little voice scolds “No peeking”!

I took a leap of faith and bought one.
It was $39.99
40 bucks I paid for a box and I don’t really know what’s inside of it.
I’m not sure what that says about us as consumers, but I’m pretty sure it’s not flattering.

So you can imagine my glee this morning when I heard Matt Lauer telling America that the new “Tickle Me Elmo” is sold out in stores but are now selling online for 200 bucks!

Somehow, I feel redeemed.

Go Elmo, you fuzzy little freak…
Go!

Happy Flu Year!

Mike, Jordan and I all have the flu.
Nick is sure to follow.

To any of you who we had the pleasure to see last week…
We apologize ahead of time if you come down with this curse!

We hope you have a Happy New Year,
Not a Lousy Flu Year!

A Beautiful Ending to a Crazy Year

Mike and I hosted an “Open Bar” last night.
Sounds funny, I know.
But since we’re in Kansas City visiting family and friends,
We don’t have access to our own home, so we hosted our party at “The Blue Moose”, a Bar and Grill.
A “Come when you can, Go when you have to” sort of an affair.
We’re all so busy this time of year, commitments overwhelm us and this seemed the perfect solution.

I can’t tell you what a blast we had!
20 or more of our old friends and neighbors showed up,
We laughed, shared old stories and heard new; we just genuinely enjoyed ourselves.
(The abundance of cocktails flowing may have helped some I’m sure.)

But mostly what I realized last night is exactly what is important in life…
Friends.
Quality friends.

So Diane, Doug, Brent and Dini, Mr. Kurtz, Red and Karen, Robin, Shane, Craig Wright, Johnny, Mary and Don, Beth and Dave, Grant, Ludwell, Marti & Barry (we know you tried!), Thank You!
You are the kind of people who make Mike and I want to be better people ourselves!

Have a Beautiful (with just a bit of crazy in it) 2006!
We love you all.

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas…

It’s Christmas Eve!
I love today even more so than Christmas day.
Traditions officially begin today,
We all have our routines.
We get dressed up,
The kids are giddy and good.
We eat things like Minced Clams,
And drink fancy Cocktails.
Friends (and even foes) hug and kiss
And all is right with the world.

Even if it’s just for a couple of days…
We’ll take it.
After all…
Christmas IS the most magical time of the year!

Merry Christmas, I’ll see you all next year!

Chris
12/24/05

The Fat Man’s coming, and He’s Bringing Annoyland.

3 more days and the excitement around here is reaching a fever pitch!
The Darlings are on their best behavior.
I can actually get them to clean their rooms or pick up their clothes in just one request!
Come the day after Christmas, it will no doubt take the obligatory 3 or 4 tries before I turn to threats of bodily harm.

Today I put my Christmas check list together:

Equal presents under the tree for the kids. Check.
Approximately same amount of money spent on each. Check.
Cookies and milk for Santa, Carrots for Rudolph. Check.
Camcorder dusted off from last Christmas and charged. Check.
Batteries for cheap-ass toys that don’t include them. Check.
Arsenal of pliers, screw-drivers and heavy duty scissors for extracting toys from ever more impenetrable packaging laid out. Check.
Notice given to the local landfill of my ludicrous donation next week. Check.

According to the federal government who tracks how many people end up in emergency rooms after battling packages containing things like wire nooses twisted around dolls’ necks… 220,188 in 2004.

Holy Crap! I’ve been frustrated but never injured.
Next year…Gift cards for everyone.
Just to stay on the “Safe” side!

"Re, Re, Re, Re"

spect...just a little bit. (Aretha Franklin)

One week left until Christmas.
The craziness is ramping up.
I know…
I’ve been talking to you on the phone.

One friend sounded frazzled,
Another down right pissed!
One had not even started her shopping yet,
Another can’t get over the sale she missed.

STOP IT.
STOP THE INSANITY.
Breathe.

Most of us want the same thing this Christmas.
A small, meaningful gift to and from the one we love,
And to secure that one favorite toy at the top of the kids list.
Add a few more goodies, that’s all they need.
And time.

Time spent with family and friends.
Not dressed to the nine’s so we’re sucking in our gut.
But comfy clothes, the kind that a belly-laugh won’t alter.

A positive spirit and respect; what a wonderful gift
to yourself and others.
Give it and you will receive it.

Relax, Replenish, Rejoice and Remember...
The real reason for the Season!!!

Sweet Memories

Is there anything better than holiday baking?
Ok…yes, plenty!
I don’t know about your culinary prowess, but mine is lacking.
I’ve never had a Gingerbread Man come out that doesn’t end up looking obscene.
In fact…one year I made them obscene on purpose as a defense against accusations. (You know who you are!!!)

Ahhh yes, the good ol’ days.
That was sans “boat anchors”, Mike’s new endearing term for our children.
A bottle of wine, some food coloring, a few sprinkles…
Oh the possibilities!
(And obviously probabilities; we do have those kids now!)

But now we make new memories.
Gingerbread houses to go with the "proper" little men.
Pretzels dipped in chocolate and rolled in nuts.
You can’t imagine the mess!
Or hopefully you can…
Because you and yours are making your own Sweet Memories this holiday season!

Cheers!

Do You or Don’t You???

There are two kinds of women in the world.
Those who wear Holiday Sweaters…
And those who don’t!

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with either one.
I’m just pointing out we’re different.

Let’s play a game.
I’ll start a sentence…you finish it.
I’ll give you an example first:

Women who wear Holiday Sweaters…have lot’s of "In-Home (Direct Sales) Parties".
Women who don’t…cringe when they get those invites in the mail!

You’re turn now.
Email me your response at Chris@ChrissyCan.Com
I’ll post them if you play!!!

And for bonus points…Let’s see how well you know me. Tell me if you think I’m a Sweater Gal or not!

All I Want for Christmas…

Check these bad boys out.
Now stop laughing and think about it.
They’re ingenious!
I’m at a point in my life where I may as well have newborns again.
Ziggy…my 14 year old mutt, has to “go” twice a night.
That means I have to get “up” twice a night!
Turning the light on is not an option.
That might actually wake me from my Ambien stupor.

Navigating the stairs in the dark is dangerous enough.
Hitting the cold tile floors downstairs… that’s downright cruel.
Once the deed is done, I travel back upstairs literally shuffling my feet as to not trip over something and risk imminent death.

A few sample journeys:

Tucker (rhymes with…) has undoubtedly moved positions on the floor while I’ve been gone, causing me to fly over him only to bash my knee cap into the bed post and stub my toe.

Nick has left his Human Torch action figure on the floor for me to step on and pierce my bare foot.

An extra blanket has been tossed to the floor and as I shuffle, I wrap my feet around it like spaghetti on a fork causing me to immediately hit the ground.

Add to the above scenarios the fact that with each demoralizing hit I take…I have to muffle a profanity. That alone can be a leading cause of stroke.

Our homes can be a dangerous place at night.
Be pro-active.
Buy a loved one on your Christmas list a pair of Headlight Slippers.
And help them make it though the night.
Alive!

A Disposable Christmas

Typically, I love the Christmas season.
The oversized tree in the picture window,
Bursting with keepsake ornaments and taffeta ribbon.
Garland, delicately laced with twinkle lights woven between the balusters.
Hundreds of colored lights strung outdoors for all to see.
And a smaller Christmas tree, all decked out on the front porch.

I also get over it pretty quick.
Usually before the big day even gets here.
We decorate and celebrate ourselves into a frenzy.
We single handedly try to spur on the economy.
We become walking, talking fruitcakes.
‘Tis the Season.

Well not this year.
Nope…I refuse to get caught up in it all.
Our tree this year; a puny pre-lit artificial.
I bought 3 sets of Christmas balls at $1.99 each.
(The keepsakes will sleep for another year.)
My nephew Anthony made a Star for the top.
It is done, it looks ridiculous.
But come the day after Christmas…
It will be in the trash.
Balls and all.

Ba-hum-bug!

At first I was afraid, I was petrified…

It’s been said that I’ve got 9 lives.
It’s also clear I’ve probably used 7 of them up.
But Ohhhhh, the memories.

Thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side.

One in particular, I was reminded of last night.
My friend Marti sent me a “TG Greeting Card”.
When I clicked on the link (and please do here),
I was back in Chicago…January, 1998.

But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin’ how you did me wrong…

Gloria Gaynor was the headliner at the annual Convention.
“I Will Survive”, every woman’s anthem, scorned or not, was about to be sung live!
I HAD to get up on that stage.

And I grew strong.
I learned how to get along.

Along for the ride, was Tina.
We’d just met.
She could not believe I wanted “us” to get up on that stage and sing “WITH” Gloria Gaynor.
But we did it.

Go on now go.
Walk out the door.

At first Gloria relegated us to backup singers.
By the chorus though…I was front and center.
Her eyes were so big.
They were telling me to get back where I belong…
With Tina and the Doo-whop boys.

Just turn around now,
(‘Cause) you’re not welcome anymore.

It was a shining, powerful moment.
One that still puts a huge smile on my face.
I don’t know where Gloria Gaynor is today.
But for Tina and I…
That night was the start of a long and adventurous friendship.

We will Survive.
Hey, hey.

Tis the (Tacky) Season

No wonder we’re mocked and ridiculed by foreigners.
We started a War under false pretense.
We have Pat Robertson on the radio.
Intelligent Design will now be taught in Kansas science classes.
And drum roll please…
It’s time for American’s to spruce up for the Holidays!

A Snowman, the size of a small house.
Santa Claus…blowing in the wind.
Rudolph and his blinking red nose.
And brand new this year…the 6ft Snow Globe.
Oh Joy!

When did we get so tacky?
The only thing worse than these inflated monstrosities are when they are in their deflated state.
They are just a puddle of brightly colored nylon on a backdrop of dead grass.
Pathetic.

I say…Bring on the lights.
Hang a wreath.
Put your spare change in the Kettle.
Sing carols.

But for God’s sake…and Santa’s too…
Just say “no no no” to an inflatable Christmas.