I’m pacing today, getting a big fat nuthin accomplished. Here I am an able-bodied person, yet I’m crippled by angst. My friend Jill is receiving her first round of chemotherapy as I type these empty words. She will get an 8-hour drip of Taxol today, a 30-minute drip of Topotecan tomorrow followed by a 30-minute drip of Avastin on Friday. For those of you “in the know” about these things… and there are far too many of us out there… this is a serious chemo-cocktail.
Jill was diagnosed with Stage 1b cervical cancer almost 4 years ago. They did surgery to remove it and no further treatment was required, as early detection of cervical cancer is highly curable. She had her 3-month scans, then her 6-month scans and last month was the first of her yearly scans. Jill was just one year shy of that 5-year mark any of us who have been cursed with cancer live for… that’s the “all clear you can get on with your life now” sign. (In two short weeks, I reach my 10 year “all clear” sign… I am a lucky, lucky girl, yet not without guilt.) With Jill’s first cancer, the same one I had only mine was a slightly lesser stage, they gave her an 85% survival rate 5 years out. Mine was 90%... really? One stinkin year is all she had to go.
But that was then, this is now…
Jill's mom Judy, our friend Mary and I, took Jill wig shopping yesterday. Jill has always worn her hair long and last weekend she cut 12 inches off, sent them to “Locks of Love” and is now sporting a darling bob. That’s my opinion of course; Jill hates it. We tried several on yesterday, short shaggy styles… Mary’s favorite, mid-length layered styles, probably my fav only because they most look like the Jill we know and love. I’m not sure this is the time for a complete makeover when you are wishing with all your might that things could just return to normal. For funzies… and at the request of her brother Craig, Jill tried on a flame red number. “Sexy” was the response from big Bro! We managed a few giggles, but there were many more tears than we had hoped for. And believe me when I say… they weren’t all Jill’s.
As most of you know, this ain’t my first Rodeo. I lost my dear friend Dini to pancreatic cancer 4 years ago and then my sister TC to breast cancer 3 years ago this past November. I know all too well the journey we are embarking on.
But know this too…
Stage IV Metastatic Disease: Fuck you; we’re not runnin. We are bringin out the big guns and you had better have your ass ready to retreat. You are not welcome here… get lost, scat, be gone… all the way gone this time!
Big tough-bad-ass words? Yep, they’re all I have right now as my friend Jill, sits in a chair, with her Mom by her side… drip, drip, drip, drip, drip…
Jill is the gentlest soul I know in this entire world. Please do whatever it is you do best when someone needs your help. Prayers, good Juju, pins in a Voo-doo doll, a stiff drink with a heartfelt toast. Send them all my good friends way; they all matter… this I know.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Enchanting, indeed...
Read this: (Click here silly)
Then this: (yep, this)
Now listen to this: (Turn your speakers on)
You go Taylor Swift.
You are the real deal and you deserve a boy like Adam.
And if you still have no idea what I'm talking about: (Click here to see how it all began)
Then this: (yep, this)
Now listen to this: (Turn your speakers on)
OK, tell me: Did it not put a huge smile on your face and transport you back to a time of innocence and joyous hope?
Sappy? Yeah… but there are worse things in the world than a little sap.You go Taylor Swift.
You are the real deal and you deserve a boy like Adam.
And if you still have no idea what I'm talking about: (Click here to see how it all began)
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
"Mom...
does Dad have an STD?”
“No Nick, he does not. Why, pray tell, do you ask?”
“Because his meds came in the mail and they say they’re for an STD.”
Lord help me.
And for the record… Mikey may battle a little high blood pressure as well as cholesterol, but as far as “down there”… he’s perfectly healthy.
And clean...
“No Nick, he does not. Why, pray tell, do you ask?”
“Because his meds came in the mail and they say they’re for an STD.”
Lord help me.
And for the record… Mikey may battle a little high blood pressure as well as cholesterol, but as far as “down there”… he’s perfectly healthy.
And clean...
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Mikey Beware...
I am not a tough gal to buy for when it comes to Christmas. Mikey would probably tell you differently, but I’m really not; Christmas is for the kids.
The one thing however, that is a staple under the tree for me each year is a refill bottle of both bath gel and moisturizer from Lady Primrose of Dallas. The fragrance is called Necture, and is not available year round, but it is at Christmas time.
I was first introduced to this product in Cabo San Lucas when Mike and I spent our ten-year anniversary at Las Ventanas; hands down the most incredible boutique resort we have ever been to. We had our own private beachfront villa with an infinity pool and Jacuzzi, and an outdoor shower that we still can’t stop talking about. Each day the staff would refill our hand-blown glass decanter, made by a local artisan with Lady Primrose products; Necture is Las Ventanas’ signature scent. There were so many amenities at LV, we had to literally pinch ourselves every day we were there, but the bath product was the one thing I knew I could take home with me (literally, you should have seen the inside of my suitcase!)
Our first Christmas after that memorable trip, Mikey bought me several products from their Necture line; they came in elegant crystal decanters. Every Christmas since, I can depend on refill bottles to keep my memories of that trip alive. As an added bonus, the gorgeous gift-wrap they arrive in reminds me of that time, when everything around us was stunningly beautiful.
This year however, Mikey ran into a little hic-cup. In all fairness to him, he has had once crazy year. He seems to be on the road more than he is home and he tackled a huge home improvement project, which is still getting the finishing touches on it this week… his (non)vacation!
That said... Mikey failed to secure my Lady Primrose before the one store in town that carries it sold out. In a near panic, he called Jordie from the store and told her to get online, it was Tuesday afternoon at this point, and order it from the Lady Primrose site. “I don’t care what it costs or how much shipping is… get it done” he said.
Suffice it to say, Jordie passed the buck and the problem landed in my lap. Oh, what a gift that turned out to be! At the “end” of the order, it offers you a chance to write a “note” … hand-written mind you… to be enclosed with the magnificently wrapped package. I could not resist…
In the comments section, I first wrote this: Please ignore the sappy message below. I obviously had to order my own gift because my husband procrastinated and Annabelle’s here in Leawood, KS is now out of my Necture! He must pay!!!
For a mere $58 in shipping costs, I think you will agree with me… it was well worth it!
And as an added bonus, Lady Primrose wrote a note to me on the back…
Mikey’s face was priceless, the kids busted a gut, and I have a great story that will give me years of entertainment!
Merry Christmas to me!
The one thing however, that is a staple under the tree for me each year is a refill bottle of both bath gel and moisturizer from Lady Primrose of Dallas. The fragrance is called Necture, and is not available year round, but it is at Christmas time.
I was first introduced to this product in Cabo San Lucas when Mike and I spent our ten-year anniversary at Las Ventanas; hands down the most incredible boutique resort we have ever been to. We had our own private beachfront villa with an infinity pool and Jacuzzi, and an outdoor shower that we still can’t stop talking about. Each day the staff would refill our hand-blown glass decanter, made by a local artisan with Lady Primrose products; Necture is Las Ventanas’ signature scent. There were so many amenities at LV, we had to literally pinch ourselves every day we were there, but the bath product was the one thing I knew I could take home with me (literally, you should have seen the inside of my suitcase!)
Our first Christmas after that memorable trip, Mikey bought me several products from their Necture line; they came in elegant crystal decanters. Every Christmas since, I can depend on refill bottles to keep my memories of that trip alive. As an added bonus, the gorgeous gift-wrap they arrive in reminds me of that time, when everything around us was stunningly beautiful.
This year however, Mikey ran into a little hic-cup. In all fairness to him, he has had once crazy year. He seems to be on the road more than he is home and he tackled a huge home improvement project, which is still getting the finishing touches on it this week… his (non)vacation!
That said... Mikey failed to secure my Lady Primrose before the one store in town that carries it sold out. In a near panic, he called Jordie from the store and told her to get online, it was Tuesday afternoon at this point, and order it from the Lady Primrose site. “I don’t care what it costs or how much shipping is… get it done” he said.
Suffice it to say, Jordie passed the buck and the problem landed in my lap. Oh, what a gift that turned out to be! At the “end” of the order, it offers you a chance to write a “note” … hand-written mind you… to be enclosed with the magnificently wrapped package. I could not resist…
In the comments section, I first wrote this: Please ignore the sappy message below. I obviously had to order my own gift because my husband procrastinated and Annabelle’s here in Leawood, KS is now out of my Necture! He must pay!!!
For a mere $58 in shipping costs, I think you will agree with me… it was well worth it!
And as an added bonus, Lady Primrose wrote a note to me on the back…
Mikey’s face was priceless, the kids busted a gut, and I have a great story that will give me years of entertainment!
Merry Christmas to me!
Friday, December 24, 2010
My First Christmas in Heaven... 2010
I am re-posting a beautiful poem my niece Kacee gave to me right after her mother, my sister, TC died three years ago. As some of you know TC died Thanksgiving weekend, which makes me very aware that for some people, the holidays are a struggle with so much perceived happiness and joy going on around us.
This year I post it in honor of people who have touched my family’s lives and we will miss them.
Grandpa Kenny: a wonderful husband to Mike’s Mom Marlene, an incredible father to Mike and Robin, a fun and loving Grandpa to Bret, Eric, Christine, Jordie, Nick, Anthony and Luke. Nick Francis: a good friend to my family for many, many years, and also a wonderful husband and father. Two of Jordan's classmates whose lives ended tragically and senselessly, Kevin and Connor. And special love tonight, to Mrs. Umbach… my friend Karen’s mom, who is under hospice care this Christmas Eve night. Pat is a woman of great faith who exudes grace and dignity at all times. My prayers are with her and the entire Umbach family, as they struggle through this horrendously sad holiday season.
If you too have someone you have lost this year or year’s past, and this poem touches you the way it did me, I encourage you to list his or her name in my comments section. Sometimes it helps to know you are not alone.
My First Christmas in Heaven
I see the countless trees around the world below.
With tiny lights, like heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear.
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description to hear the angel sing.
I know how much you miss me.
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all “Love” is the gift, more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.
For I can’t count the blessings or love he has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away the tear.
Remember, I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
(Anonymous)
We love and miss you TC.
This year I post it in honor of people who have touched my family’s lives and we will miss them.
Grandpa Kenny: a wonderful husband to Mike’s Mom Marlene, an incredible father to Mike and Robin, a fun and loving Grandpa to Bret, Eric, Christine, Jordie, Nick, Anthony and Luke. Nick Francis: a good friend to my family for many, many years, and also a wonderful husband and father. Two of Jordan's classmates whose lives ended tragically and senselessly, Kevin and Connor. And special love tonight, to Mrs. Umbach… my friend Karen’s mom, who is under hospice care this Christmas Eve night. Pat is a woman of great faith who exudes grace and dignity at all times. My prayers are with her and the entire Umbach family, as they struggle through this horrendously sad holiday season.
If you too have someone you have lost this year or year’s past, and this poem touches you the way it did me, I encourage you to list his or her name in my comments section. Sometimes it helps to know you are not alone.
My First Christmas in Heaven
I see the countless trees around the world below.
With tiny lights, like heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear.
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description to hear the angel sing.
I know how much you miss me.
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all “Love” is the gift, more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.
For I can’t count the blessings or love he has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away the tear.
Remember, I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
(Anonymous)
We love and miss you TC.
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