3 more days and the excitement around here is reaching a fever pitch!
The Darlings are on their best behavior.
I can actually get them to clean their rooms or pick up their clothes in just one request!
Come the day after Christmas, it will no doubt take the obligatory 3 or 4 tries before I turn to threats of bodily harm.
Today I put my Christmas check list together:
Equal presents under the tree for the kids. Check.
Approximately same amount of money spent on each. Check.
Cookies and milk for Santa, Carrots for Rudolph. Check.
Camcorder dusted off from last Christmas and charged. Check.
Batteries for cheap-ass toys that don’t include them. Check.
Arsenal of pliers, screw-drivers and heavy duty scissors for extracting toys from ever more impenetrable packaging laid out. Check.
Notice given to the local landfill of my ludicrous donation next week. Check.
According to the federal government who tracks how many people end up in emergency rooms after battling packages containing things like wire nooses twisted around dolls’ necks… 220,188 in 2004.
Holy Crap! I’ve been frustrated but never injured.
Next year…Gift cards for everyone.
Just to stay on the “Safe” side!
Definition (Merriam-Webster):
Prolonged and abnormal inability to obtain adequate sleep
Definition (Chris): (I) can’t fucking sleep!
(N)o one else in the entire world is up right now.
(S)anity is questionable at this time of day.
(O)ther people can sleep; I hate them!
(M)ike’s asleep in Kentucky…Arghhhh!
(N)ineteen hours until this Hell starts again.
(I)s it too early to start drinking?
(A)mbien, Ambien, Ambien!!!
Who was the brainiac that invented the new thermostats?
I’d like to kick him all the way to the North Pole.
Let him get a good dose of “Friggin Freezin” in his bedroom.
Not all of us are Rocket Scientists.
Most of us can’t program our own cell phones.
Is Heat, Cool, On and Off too much to ask for our new fancy-ass programmable thermo-stupid to offer???
Did dials go out with pastels? God forgbid you stay home on a Tuesday, it's 58 degrees inside until Oprah comes on at 4.Program THIS Mister Honeywell!!!
I hope you have a warm and cozy evening,
I’m not!
spect...just a little bit. (Aretha Franklin)One week left until Christmas.
The craziness is ramping up.
I know…
I’ve been talking to you on the phone.
One friend sounded frazzled,
Another down right pissed!
One had not even started her shopping yet,
Another can’t get over the sale she missed.
STOP IT.
STOP THE INSANITY.
Breathe.
Most of us want the same thing this Christmas.
A small, meaningful gift to and from the one we love,
And to secure that one favorite toy at the top of the kids list.
Add a few more goodies, that’s all they need.
And time.
Time spent with family and friends.
Not dressed to the nine’s so we’re sucking in our gut.
But comfy clothes, the kind that a belly-laugh won’t alter.
A positive spirit and respect; what a wonderful gift
to yourself and others.
Give it and you will receive it.
Relax, Replenish, Rejoice and Remember...The real reason for the Season!!!
Before we left Texas,
Nick got a box turtle for a pet.
He named her, (in Nick lingo)
“Tina the tiny widdle tordle”.
Tina has a good life,
Like most pets she gets toys and treats.
Gammie bought her a life like “toy” turtle recently.
(Think Blow-up Doll)
It’s just about the same size as Tina.
As you can see…
Tina likes her new playmate.
Now I just have to figure out how to tell Nicky that Tina…
Might actually be a Tony.
