Wheeeee!

Actually it’s Wii, the latest in the 7th generation of gaming systems put out by Nintendo.
Now I’m no gamer.
Until Nicholas received “Guitar Hero” for Christmas last year, I haven’t touched a gaming system since Pac Man.
But once I played it, I was hooked for weeks on being a rock star.

This evening, we were over at some friend’s house when they broke out their new Wii.
I was intrigued by the tennis game and decided to give it a shot.
I ruled the court baby!
And I actually broke out into a sweat.
This thing is awesome on so many levels, game on.

Obviously impressed by my natural ability, Pam our hostess, challenged me to a match.
“You’re on” I told her.
But before I could even get up and out of my chair,
She backhanded me right in the schnoz with the controller.
I mean I saw starts man…I just about hit the deck!

I faintly remember back around Christmas time, Nintendo had to put a warning out to hold onto the controllers when playing.
Apparently players were getting a bit over zealous and putting the thing right through the TV.
I’m wondering now as I sit here with my head splitting, my nose throbbing and my teethe aching if I shouldn’t give them a head’s up about this danger as well.

I’m going to bed now with an ice pack on my face.
I can’t wait to wake up in the morning to see if I have a shiner.

Wheeeeee…

Finally…Some new Schtick

Mike is at times, relentless toward Jordan.
He teases her about “girl stuff”.
She does enough bitchin and moaning for all of us so quite frankly, I rarely speak up when he accuses her of being “on her period”!
Nick always gets a big kick out of it when Mike says that.
Sophomoric?
Yes… but these are the two who never miss an episode of Family Guy.
Nuff said.

This past Saturday evening, we were driving home from Ashley’s graduation.
Jordan was particularly full of herself; she had gotten a lot of attention from Ashley’s friends who have known my kids since they were very young.
She was really working us on the drive home…bossy, mouthy and just plain annoying.
Mike, to my surprise, was pretty much ignoring her, as was I.
Nick on the other hand, had apparently had just about enough of her attitude.

Yearning to be “just like Dad”, Nick exhibited perfect comedic timing when he verbally assaulted his big sister.
Unfortunately, it was his vocabulary that was just a bit off.

“Jordan…are you masturbating”???

I wish I could do justice to the description of Jordan’s face.
It was a twisted up combination of shock, horror and astonishment.
“Mom. Did you hear what the little perv just said to me?”

Mike was gasping for air between fits of hysterics as he said, “Nick, Nick…the word is menstruating”!!!

“Menstruating, masturbating, what’s the diff” Nick said stoically, deep down knowing this was a huge faux pas.

“The difference Nick, is one you’ll never do and the other you’ll never stop” explains Mike.

“Holy crap” is all I could think at the time.
You can’t make this stuff up!

But the good news?
We finally have some new material to use around the Baker household.
Now, whenever someone is a bit “testy” around here,
The question is immediately asked…

“Are you masturbating”???

Hasta la vista Baby

In 13 days, I will be through with elementary school.
Sayonara baby!

Gone will be the incessant messages from our “Room Mother”, blah, blah, blah!
Ciao darlin!

Very soon, I will be done with inviting every boy in Nick’s class to his birthday party (whether he likes the little shit or not) in the spirit of being PC.
Cheerio kids!

I have, as of today, turned in my LAST pop can tab. We have dutifully collected those little gems since Jordie was in kindergarten. There have been countless fingers sliced open during removal and I still don’t even know what the school is doing with them!
In honor of my German heritage…Auf Wiedersehen aluminum cans!

Last week, marked our last visit EVER to Kansas City’s “Science City”.
It’s an okay little interactive museum, but come on…do we have to go there every single year for our field trips? A little variety perhaps???
Au Revoir Dino Lab!

And finally, to the 5th Grade Farewell Committee: No one “committee” has ever caused me so much grief and aggravation in my life. You know the 3 pictures we had to turn in for the “really, really, extra special yearbook supplement” you are creating? Well I moved 4 times in 2 years; Nick’s baby picture is actually Jordan, his KG picture may very well be from 2nd grade, but I did come through with the correct 5th grade picture. Yay me! I know I turned it in 3 weeks late and was perhaps a bit “snippy” with you and for that, I apologize. But you drove me to the brink of insanity this year and I will not miss you.
See ya… wouldn’t wanna be ya!

In one short hour from now, I will be on the school grounds participating in my very last “Field Day” ever.

Am I a tiny bit melancholy?
Yeah…I’ll admit it.
But not so much about leaving elementary school, and all it’s mandatory parental participation behind.

I’m sad because I bought Nick a new pair of sneakers last night.
They are a (Men’s) size 7 ½.
Now that breaks my heart!

Adios, my “little” man!

Teacher’s Pet

I got an “Aaaaaa”, I got an “Aaaaaa”!

In my Digital Photography class that is.
The course syllabus clearly states that if you have perfect attendance, turn in all required assignments and participate fully and enthusiastically in class critiques, you will automatically receive a “C” in the class.

Holy crap!
Who you gotta blow around here to get an “A”?

Okay…that was inappropriate (Mom), but really…this guy needs to lighten up!
I was pissed off, not to mention stressed out the whole semester over this.
I worked my ass off for this class.
My friends… (Come back to me Karen) have given up on me.
They don’t even bother to “invite me” out for drinky-poo’s anymore!

But that all ends…today!
With an “A”!
“Yay”!!!

I need this like a “hole in my head”…or four

This is how I woke up this morning…

“Mom, get up… there’s something wrong with my ear” Jordie insisted as she flicked the lights on with little more warning than that.
“My eyes, my eyes, I need coffee” is all I could think at that particular moment.
But up I got to take a look-see.

Apparently, one of Jordan’s (four) earrings had worked itself through the front of her earlobe, (but not the back), during the night.
She’s only had them pierced for about 5 weeks; it was a big decision to do it again.
She used to have them pierced (just 2 back then!) and it was a nightmare.
We chose to let them close back up and she vowed never to do it again.

That was then, age 7. This is now, nearly 14!
Some things never change.
Today, the nightmare continued!

I was sick to my stomach before we even went to the hospital.
Mike is supposed to do the blood and guts stuff.
I clean up puke.
That’s the deal man.
But once again…and Mike would not dispute this…he’s never in town for the good stuff!

So I called in the Reserves.
Mike’s Mom, Marl.
She’s an old battle nurse from way back.
Nothing rattles her.

Until today.
Suffice it to say, the procedure the good Doctor used to remove the “foreign body” from Jordie’s ear, was barbaric at best.
So much in fact, that I just got off the phone with the Patients Advocate Rep from the hospital.

Jordan now has four unoccupied holes in her ears.
She’s vowed to let them close up again.
For good this time!

The good news from today’s debacle?
God willing, that kid will never pierce “anything” again!

Now can anyone share a good “infected tattoo” story with me???
I’m just hedging here!

It’s Been a While…

But in some ways, it’s been no time at all.

I’ve got a thousand excuses… why I’ve been away.
But no real reasons.

What I can say, and what I do know, is that after many cloudy days…
The sun has risen again.

And now, it is planting season.
My favorite time of year.
A new crop to nurture, love and eventually reap its rewards.
Not unlike life, in it’s most barren form.

Today is Mother’s Day.
A time for celebration…perhaps.
Unless you doubt your value, your effectiveness, your skill.

I did.
Until tonight.
My kids were great today…granted.
But it is, after all, “Mother’s Day”…they were on their best behavior.

It was later in the day, went Brent and the boys came over for dinner.
This is their first “Mother’s Day” without Dini…they’re Mom, my friend.
Awkward? No.
Painful…yes.
But in the end, peaceful.

We laughed, we cried, and we wondered.
Are we doing enough?
Do they know we love them?
Will they be alright?

The fact of the matter is that we don’t know for sure.
We think we do, but we don’t know; not without a shadow of a doubt.
There is no room for error, when it comes to these boys.
We’ve got to get it right.
Dini would get it right.
We owe her.
We want what she wants.
We want…to get it right.

It’s planting time.
Ryan and Nathan, Jordie and Nick…they’re young.
We will nurture them, we will love them, and when they grow some weeds…
We will love them even more, and tend to their needs.
Only then, will they grow big, and they will grow wise, and they will be strong.

Dini, in her painstaking absence, reminded me of all that today.
She touched each of these kids’ souls.
She fertilized their individual beings.

They are blessed.
And they will do well.

As for me…
Dini, even though she is gone from my day to day life...
She continues to bless me with her wisdom.
I am, she tells me, a good Mom.
I can, she tells me, make a difference in her son’s lives.
She does, she tells me…still love me.

Happy Mother’s Day Dini…we all miss you so much!

Today we celebrate, in honor of you, Dini...
Our Mother, our wife, our friend.