Mike is at times, relentless toward Jordan.
He teases her about “girl stuff”.
She does enough bitchin and moaning for all of us so quite frankly, I rarely speak up when he accuses her of being “on her period”!
Nick always gets a big kick out of it when Mike says that.
Sophomoric?
Yes… but these are the two who never miss an episode of Family Guy.
Nuff said.
This past Saturday evening, we were driving home from Ashley’s graduation.
Jordan was particularly full of herself; she had gotten a lot of attention from Ashley’s friends who have known my kids since they were very young.
She was really working us on the drive home…bossy, mouthy and just plain annoying.
Mike, to my surprise, was pretty much ignoring her, as was I.
Nick on the other hand, had apparently had just about enough of her attitude.
Yearning to be “just like Dad”, Nick exhibited perfect comedic timing when he verbally assaulted his big sister.
Unfortunately, it was his vocabulary that was just a bit off.
“Jordan…are you masturbating”???
I wish I could do justice to the description of Jordan’s face.
It was a twisted up combination of shock, horror and astonishment.
“Mom. Did you hear what the little perv just said to me?”
Mike was gasping for air between fits of hysterics as he said, “Nick, Nick…the word is menstruating”!!!
“Menstruating, masturbating, what’s the diff” Nick said stoically, deep down knowing this was a huge faux pas.
“The difference Nick, is one you’ll never do and the other you’ll never stop” explains Mike.
“Holy crap” is all I could think at the time.
You can’t make this stuff up!
But the good news?
We finally have some new material to use around the Baker household.
Now, whenever someone is a bit “testy” around here,
The question is immediately asked…
“Are you masturbating”???
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