How Do We Say Goodbye

Today, I lay in bed next to TC and watched…
As she told our mother that she’s tired.
Too tired to go on fighting she said.
Too tired to go on anymore.

We are devastated.
We cried… Mom, TC and me.

Jordie cried too as she ran out of the room.
I worry so much about Jordan.
So young, so much pain this year.
First Dave, then Dini, now TC.
Too much pain to ask anyone to bare, much less a kid.
How will she say goodbye?

Nicholas.
You think little boys may not really get it.
They do.
Nick has been very clingy since Dini died.
He hugs me a lot and pats me.
He’s trying to be a man and comfort his Mom.
But he’s just a little boy who loves his aunt.
And he hurts.
How will he say goodbye?

Toby.
She’s coming tomorrow.
I’m so afraid for her.
She’s not seen TC since May.
I think this may be her last time.
She can’t possibly be prepared.
Who can ever be prepared?
How will she say goodbye?

My Dad.
So far away.
My heart breaks for him every day.
He feels so helpless, so alone.
Will he be here in time?
How will he say goodbye?

Mom.
Oh my God…Mom.
Of all the pain, this is my worst.
I’m so afraid that she won’t want to go on.
But I need her.
We all need her.
How will she ever, say goodbye?

Mike.
My rock and our glue.
He holds us all together.
He loves TC too.
He will be with me.
Holding my hand.
Wiping my tears.
Giving me strength...

When I say goodbye.