Does anyone REALLY know what time it is???

Does anybody really care? (Chicago III, 1971)

Well I do Damnit!!!
You would too if you didn’t know what time it was!
Do I sound pissed? Do I sound confused? I AM!

A little background first. Most of you know that Mike and I moved to Indianapolis with the kids in August. (Well, Mike moved to Kentucky but let’s not get into all that here!)

I distinctly remember the move. Mike had the kids, two dogs and a U-haul. The Moving-Gods were smiling down on me that day…I was alone in the Landcruiser, rockin-out to 70’s music all the way. My only responsibility that day was to “beat” the movers to the new house. Their “ETA”; (trying to impress my Military family) was 3p.m. That fact alone is why I am so adamant that I “do” know what time it is. I kept checking the clock. It was 2p.m. when I arrived. It was 4p.m. when Mike got here with the gang. It was 9p.m. when I fell into bed and 9a.m. when I got up the next morning. My point here is that it was still Central Time.

Recent headlines in the Indy Star: “Indy considering switch to Central Time Zone”

HUH???

As is my nature…I let this go the first time I heard it. They must be smoking something…we ARE on Central Time. A few days go by.

Lead-off story on the Eleven O’clock News, (that should have been a hint, why does the news come on so late here?) “Some Indy Counties to vote for time zone change”

HUH???

Alright…now I spring into action, (note to self: Do Not Fall Back). I look at the clock on the microwave; it is 10:25a.m. The coffee pot? 10:25a.m. The computer will know, yep…10:25a.m. I’m not crazy, it’s still Central Time. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I never changed the big hand on my Cartier watch!

If you could step into my challenged brain for a short time, you would comprehend the HELL that I’ve been through; back and forth, back and forth between “knowing without a doubt” what time it is, and complete and utter self doubt!

News Flash: “Johnson County (mine) votes to follow Marion County’s lead and stay on Eastern Time Zone”

HUH??? WTF!!!

Now I’m pissed, dazed and confused. What the hell time is it?

Every phone call is now my secret path back to sanity. Mom in Kansas calls, “Hey Mom…fine, fine, everything’s good, yeah, hey…what time is it there?”

Hello Dad? (New York)…just checking in, how goes things? Good, good, yeah everything is fine here…say, what time is it there?

Every chance I had, I worked the time of day into the conversation, and guess what? I was right every single time! What are those KOOKS on the news talking about? If we’re on Eastern Time, like they keep insisting we are, then why aren’t I late for every friggin thing I do? Why are the kids not late for school? Why I ask …why?

I figured it out today, Yay for me. Indianapolis is indeed on Eastern Standard Time. But here’s the hitch; they don’t “participate” in Daylight Savings Time”.

HUH???

“Participate?” We can choose to “participate” in Daylight Savings Time? WTF!!! Where am I, how did I get here and when do I get to go home?!? Holy Crap.

I guess the point to my rant is this…come Sunday…don’t call me after 8p.m. unless you live (and know that you live) in the Eastern Time Zone. Apparently it’s going to be 9p.m. here (then), 8p.m. by you if you live in Central, assuming you “know” what time zone you live in. So when you and the rest of the country “fall back” Sunday morning, I won’t be. I’ll be going to bed in India-No-Place, praying that when I wake up Monday morning, the kids will get to school on time and all will be right with the world.

Now if I can only figure out what time Grey’s Anatomy will be on…