It's Baaaaaack...

So my back goes out on me, I'm talking emergency-room-shoot-me-up-with-morphine-and-muscle-relaxers kind of out, every two years like clockwork. Well how time flies; this is apparently my lucky day!

Unfortunately, it happened halfway down the driveway while lifting a heavy trash bag.  I got stuck out there. Could. Not. Move. (Note: I was actually out of my jammies and dressed which is a rarity for that time of day. #Uptick)

No phone with me, no one home to hear me screaming... no one to help me.  BUT... at least three neighbors drove by and gave me a little wave as they scuttled past me for work.  Really?!? I looked like a friggin gumby doll flopping around in different positions desperate for relief from the intense pain surging through my upper torso. Yep... pretty sure my distress was obvious... thanks for nuthin neigh-bozos.

It took me 20 minutes to limp, hobble and eventually crawl back to the house, writhing in pain the whole way.  I call Mike. No luck, he just landed in Chicago.  I call Jordie... the soonest she can get to me was 10.  Then, magically... Nick calls ME! "My superhero is gonna save me" I thought.  Wrong again; his Landcruiser got towed from "the library" last night and he doesn't have the $175. to get it back. "Call your father", I grumbled.

Next I called Robin. If she didn't answer I was going to have to call 9-1-1. She answered... Yes!!! She was 30 minutes away yet but she was going to get me to the E.R.!  I managed to find a position on the couch where the pain was less intense; it just so happened to be right next to yesterday's $4760.80 Emergency Room bill for Nick.  "How can I get through this without another one of those?" I wondered to myself. 

So I called Mike's masseuse; she's incredible at manipulating the body back into submission. No go. Then I called my doctor (since his office was now open). Typically, if I'm in this much pain, he'll send me straight to the E.R. And typically, I would go. But that damn bill was staring up at me, not to mention today's 175 buck screw-up, so I did what most of us mothers do... I sucked it up.

Robin put a bag of frozen edemame on my back and fed me 4 ibuprophen with a banana and peanut butter.  The doc called back and after some haggling, (i.e.
pleading), he agreed to call me in some muscle relaxers.

So here I am... in bed... probably for the next three days, watching The Price Is Right.

Hmmm... the irony.