Attack Mildew at its Roots!

I’ve really been after Nicholas lately about brushing his teeth.
He is almost 11 now and cleanliness, be it his teeth, his hair or changing his underwear is simply not a priority to him.

Veterans of Parental Warfare tell us to “pick our battles”.
Well personal grooming habits are non-negotiable as far as I’m concerned.
I’ll admit it, I’m a nag.
Brush your friggin teeth!

Twice last week, Nick failed this simple morning task.
He had just been to the dentist for a cleaning and was told that he had beautiful, healthy teeth.
That compliment did not help my cause!
It was clear I needed to turn up the nag-factor.

The next morning, clearly with attitude in my voice, I demanded to know,
“Nick, did you brush your teeth?”
“Yes Mom, I used the pink toothbrush.”

Other than being somewhat baffled as to where he might have gotten a pink toothbrush, that statement meant nothing to me at the time.
I was just glad he had brushed them.
A couple of hours later in the shower however, it did!

It seems I had attacked the shower tile with some Tilex and a “pink” toothbrush the day before.
Apparently, I failed to remove the brush from the shower floor.

Nick, being the slacker that he is, thought…
(Who am I kidding; I have no idea what the hell he was thinking!)
He picked up that nasty-ass split ends toothbrush and proceeded to use it in his mouth!

Trust me, disgust came later.
Initially, it was panic.
I jumped out of the shower and reached for the phone.

“Hello, Nurse Peggy? This is Chris Baker, Nick’s Mom.
Could you possibly pull him out of class and check his mouth for blisters?”

“Um, well…actually Peggy…it seems that Nick brushed his teeth with Tilex this morning.”

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yes, I understand that it’s highly poisonous.
No, no. I doubt he ingested any either, no need to call Poison Control.”

“Ok, thank you Peggy.
I’ll just wait for you to get back with me once you’ve checked him out.”

Ring, ring, ring.

“Hi Peggy. Oh, that’s great…no sign of blisters.
Just out of curiosity though…What did you tell Nick the reason was for you looking into his mouth?”

“Ahhh. You told him I cleaned the bathroom with the pink toothbrush.
He thinks it was the toilet?
He said he can’t wait to get home and brush his teeth a thousand times?”

Mission Accomplished.
No more “Potty” mouth.

Hmmm...now what can I possibly do with his comb?