Telephone Manners

I called the phone number my neighbor gave me to inquire about a house cleaner.
I was told that “Patrecia” doesn’t speak English very well and that her husband may need to get on the phone.
Being the babbler that I am, my introduction went something like this…

“Hi my name is Chris. Patrecia cleans two of my neighbors homes and comes very highly recommended. Is she available to speak to me regarding cleaning my home as well?”

There was a very personable, older lady on the other end of the phone…

“I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong number dear.”

“Is this 816-216-blah blah blah blah?” I inquired.

“Yes it is but it’s a new listing, I just got this number last week.”

“Oh, I apologize; I’ll scratch it out and won’t bother you again.”

“That’s ok honey, what kind of house cleaner are you?”
(Now that’s funny. Obviously I’m a shitty one lady!)

“No, I’m looking for a house cleaner.” I declare.

“Oh… well I know of a wonderful woman, her name is Laura. She has a real cleaning service with a real name for her company. I can’t recall what it is right now though. I just can’t remember things like I used to.”

Well, I really appreciate that but I have another number for the gal I’m trying to find. If I don’t get hold of her, maybe I can call you back and you’ll remember it by then.”

“Actually” she said, “if you call Edna at the Hyvee on 91st Street, she’s the manager of the meat and cheese trays, Laura works for her a couple of nights a week when the teenagers want a night off. You can call up there, ask for Edna and she can give you Laura’s number.”

At this point I’m looking around my house for a hidden candid camera!

“I’ll be sure and do that Mam and thank you so much for all your help.”
(I’m now so thoroughly confused that I’ve got myself believing I actually sought out her help!)

I didn’t find a hidden camera but I may have found the moral of the story…

Always remember your telephone manners.
You never know when there’s going to be a sweet old lady on the other end who just wants to chat.

And oh yeah, one more thing…
I apparently have way too much time on my hands and should probably clean my own damn house!