It could be said that it’s not been a very “lucky” year for my family.
But it’s all how you look at it.
When I concentrate on what we have, and not what I wish we had,
A true feeling of joy washes over me.
I can’t stop the future and the pain it promises from happening.
But I’m damn well not going to waste today worrying about it.
TC and I are going to Ireland in a couple of weeks to visit Toby and the “homeland”.
We have so much fun to look forward to,
And many more memories to make.
Best case, it will be a trip of a lifetime.
Worst case it will supply me with some much needed blogging material!
That’s a win/win!
And you never know…
I’m going to kiss that Blarney Stone and maybe our luck will change!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
The Favorite Child
I’ve always been the favorite child.
I can’t help it.
It is what it is.
My oldest sister Toby,
She’s the smarty-pants in the family.
Always has been.
Girls State, academic scholarships to top notch universities,
Her name is Dr. Toby Sachsenmaier now.
And she lives a romantic life in County Clare, Ireland.
I sent her a birthday card a few years ago.
It said, “Happy Birthday to the smart one in the family.
From the cute one!”
I thought it hilarious.
About a week later I received a note in the mail from her.
It said…”Yeah but when I’m 60, I’ll still be smart!!!”
Touché’
But I’m still the favorite!
Then there’s TC…the middle child.
Always the black sheep.
My parents were so busy keeping tabs on her that they never gave a worry about my whereabouts.
I was after all, the responsible one.
And the favorite!
But that’s all changed now.
TC has catapulted herself right to the top spot.
Trampling over me, she has just left me in the dust.
That’s right folks…
Cancer actually has some perks!
TC is now the favorite child!
I don’t even rank.
And she’s the cutest now… with her little buzzed head.
And…sorry Toby…but she’s the wisest too.
When TC talks…we listen.
She has a unique outlook on life now.
What’s important…what’s not.
Things she’d do differently if she had it to do over again.
Choices she made that she knows were the right ones and is proud of.
TC dying, is a selfless gift to us left behind to go on living well and right.
She is living out the rest of her life with Grace, compassion and humor.
We laugh hard everyday, sometimes at some of you…
But mostly at ourselves.
Every day is a gift now.
And when tomorrow doesn’t come for her,
She will have left us with so many life lessons.
I hope for me…one of those includes gaining back favorite child status.
I need all the help I can get!
I can’t help it.
It is what it is.
My oldest sister Toby,
She’s the smarty-pants in the family.
Always has been.
Girls State, academic scholarships to top notch universities,
Her name is Dr. Toby Sachsenmaier now.
And she lives a romantic life in County Clare, Ireland.
I sent her a birthday card a few years ago.
It said, “Happy Birthday to the smart one in the family.
From the cute one!”
I thought it hilarious.
About a week later I received a note in the mail from her.
It said…”Yeah but when I’m 60, I’ll still be smart!!!”
Touché’
But I’m still the favorite!
Then there’s TC…the middle child.
Always the black sheep.
My parents were so busy keeping tabs on her that they never gave a worry about my whereabouts.
I was after all, the responsible one.
And the favorite!
But that’s all changed now.
TC has catapulted herself right to the top spot.
Trampling over me, she has just left me in the dust.
That’s right folks…
Cancer actually has some perks!
TC is now the favorite child!
I don’t even rank.
And she’s the cutest now… with her little buzzed head.
And…sorry Toby…but she’s the wisest too.
When TC talks…we listen.
She has a unique outlook on life now.
What’s important…what’s not.
Things she’d do differently if she had it to do over again.
Choices she made that she knows were the right ones and is proud of.
TC dying, is a selfless gift to us left behind to go on living well and right.
She is living out the rest of her life with Grace, compassion and humor.
We laugh hard everyday, sometimes at some of you…
But mostly at ourselves.
Every day is a gift now.
And when tomorrow doesn’t come for her,
She will have left us with so many life lessons.
I hope for me…one of those includes gaining back favorite child status.
I need all the help I can get!
Monday, April 24, 2006
Oh BOY!!!
I grew up, (am growing up???) the youngest of three girls.
My sister TC had all girls.
Girls, girls, girls…that’s all I know.
Then along came Nicholas.
I cried for days as I put his sister’s cute little baby outfits away for good.
Boy clothes were so boring.
I cried at the sight of his circumcision,
Not really understanding why we had to mutilate him. I quickly learned to cover up his package while changing his diaper to avoid a shower at close range.
I have spent countless hours searching the Wal-Mart shelves for specific action figures and super heroes.
We have an army of Woody’s and Buzz Lightyear’s packed away in the basement.
Air soft guns, remote control cars, hot wheel tracks…
Boys!!!
They are indeed their own species!
And now we enter a new phase.
Nick is 10 and things are changing rapidly.
Friday at school, they had “The Movie”.
“What movie”, I asked.
“You know Mom…the one where they tell us about the wedding tackle and growing whiskers down there!”
Oy!
Baseball started this week.
I brought him to buy his uniform and new cleats.
“I need a Support Cup Mom.”
To support WHAT I thought!
Where do you even buy one of those, I pondered.
How are they sized, how do they go on?
God Mike…why are you out of town when I need you most???
So back to Wal-Mart I went.
I must have spent 20 minutes in the boys department looking for a jock strap.
Why wouldn’t they be right next to the tidy whiteys?
Finally, after consulting a sales clerk, I found them.
Right next to the rifles and ammo in the sporting goods department.
Boys…Go figure!!!
My sister TC had all girls.
Girls, girls, girls…that’s all I know.
Then along came Nicholas.
I cried for days as I put his sister’s cute little baby outfits away for good.
Boy clothes were so boring.
I cried at the sight of his circumcision,
Not really understanding why we had to mutilate him. I quickly learned to cover up his package while changing his diaper to avoid a shower at close range.
I have spent countless hours searching the Wal-Mart shelves for specific action figures and super heroes.
We have an army of Woody’s and Buzz Lightyear’s packed away in the basement.
Air soft guns, remote control cars, hot wheel tracks…
Boys!!!
They are indeed their own species!
And now we enter a new phase.
Nick is 10 and things are changing rapidly.
Friday at school, they had “The Movie”.
“What movie”, I asked.
“You know Mom…the one where they tell us about the wedding tackle and growing whiskers down there!”
Oy!
Baseball started this week.
I brought him to buy his uniform and new cleats.
“I need a Support Cup Mom.”
To support WHAT I thought!
Where do you even buy one of those, I pondered.
How are they sized, how do they go on?
God Mike…why are you out of town when I need you most???
So back to Wal-Mart I went.
I must have spent 20 minutes in the boys department looking for a jock strap.
Why wouldn’t they be right next to the tidy whiteys?
Finally, after consulting a sales clerk, I found them.
Right next to the rifles and ammo in the sporting goods department.
Boys…Go figure!!!
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