Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
A Disgrace to my Heritage…
I just made a pound cake; the mix came from a box.
My first conundrum arose when the ingredients for me to add were a “choice”; add milk OR water.
For God’s sakes, don’t screw with me, just tell me!
“Mo”, (eenie, meenie, miney, mo…) landed on milk, so that’s what I went with.
Two eggs later, a quick couple of minutes with the electric beater and voila’, my culinary masterpiece was ready for the hot oven.
Unfortunately though, when I went to put it in… my heart sunk. I’d never turned the oven on to warm it up! But what’s another 10 or 15 minute delay when the result will be pure buttery goodness with a hot cup of Joe.
Cooking time said “48 to 52 minutes”.
I was using a glass pan and could swear from past experience (and I use the term loosely) that glass meant lower temp. But in my defense, no where did that bitch Betty mention that on the box!
So into a 350 degree oven it went, and I set the timer for a mere 45 minutes.
You know me… always playing it safe!!!
Ok, in the spirit of full disclosure, there was one other tiny mishap.
I’ve blogged here before regarding my limited attention span.
About an hour after turning the oven on, I wondered why it kept “clicking”. Only then did I realize I’d forgotten to put the cake in. By this time the batter had (oddly) risen to about twice its original depth. This was my first inkling that maybe I should have gone with the water. Who knows?
WHO KNOWS???
I’ll tell you who knows… my Papa!!!
Francis Duddy owned and operated “Duddy’s Bakery” in Queens New York, from before my mother, her 6 sister’s and one brother were born, to not long before he died in the late 60’s.
From Grandma and Papa Duddy, I get my 50% Irish blood.
Duddy’s Bakery, the story is told (backed up by a torn and yellowed old newspaper article including a picture), used to have customers lined up around the block for one of their famous pies.
They offered all the goodies any bakery would, but Pies is what they were famous for.
I have never made a pie.
My 50% German veins also have incredible Baker knowledge and experience flowing through them.
My Oma, who baked the best damn Apfelkuchen and German Butter Cookies in the whole entire world…, is probably turning in her grave this morning at my lame attempt to bake!
From a BOX, no less!
To make a long and personally painful story short… yes, I burned it.
And then yes, I tried to salvage it by cutting the burnt ends, sides and bottom off.
Even then, it tasted somewhat like I would imagine a sponge to taste.
A clean one!
But in the end, I called it for what it was…
A complete and utter failure, as well as a disgrace to my family heritage.
I’ve still got my stinkin sweet-tooth, so I’m going out for a Ding-Dong now.
Sorry Oma and Papa.
But if it’s any consolation to you, your great-granddaughter is an awesome Baker… both kinds!
My first conundrum arose when the ingredients for me to add were a “choice”; add milk OR water.
For God’s sakes, don’t screw with me, just tell me!
“Mo”, (eenie, meenie, miney, mo…) landed on milk, so that’s what I went with.
Two eggs later, a quick couple of minutes with the electric beater and voila’, my culinary masterpiece was ready for the hot oven.
Unfortunately though, when I went to put it in… my heart sunk. I’d never turned the oven on to warm it up! But what’s another 10 or 15 minute delay when the result will be pure buttery goodness with a hot cup of Joe.
Cooking time said “48 to 52 minutes”.
I was using a glass pan and could swear from past experience (and I use the term loosely) that glass meant lower temp. But in my defense, no where did that bitch Betty mention that on the box!
So into a 350 degree oven it went, and I set the timer for a mere 45 minutes.
You know me… always playing it safe!!!
Ok, in the spirit of full disclosure, there was one other tiny mishap.
I’ve blogged here before regarding my limited attention span.
About an hour after turning the oven on, I wondered why it kept “clicking”. Only then did I realize I’d forgotten to put the cake in. By this time the batter had (oddly) risen to about twice its original depth. This was my first inkling that maybe I should have gone with the water. Who knows?
WHO KNOWS???
I’ll tell you who knows… my Papa!!!
Francis Duddy owned and operated “Duddy’s Bakery” in Queens New York, from before my mother, her 6 sister’s and one brother were born, to not long before he died in the late 60’s.
From Grandma and Papa Duddy, I get my 50% Irish blood.
Duddy’s Bakery, the story is told (backed up by a torn and yellowed old newspaper article including a picture), used to have customers lined up around the block for one of their famous pies.
They offered all the goodies any bakery would, but Pies is what they were famous for.
I have never made a pie.
My 50% German veins also have incredible Baker knowledge and experience flowing through them.
My Oma, who baked the best damn Apfelkuchen and German Butter Cookies in the whole entire world…, is probably turning in her grave this morning at my lame attempt to bake!
From a BOX, no less!
To make a long and personally painful story short… yes, I burned it.
And then yes, I tried to salvage it by cutting the burnt ends, sides and bottom off.
Even then, it tasted somewhat like I would imagine a sponge to taste.
A clean one!
But in the end, I called it for what it was…
A complete and utter failure, as well as a disgrace to my family heritage.
I’ve still got my stinkin sweet-tooth, so I’m going out for a Ding-Dong now.
Sorry Oma and Papa.
But if it’s any consolation to you, your great-granddaughter is an awesome Baker… both kinds!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
My (New) Blog List
As is clear from the number of posts to my blog this year compared to years past, it may seem as if ChrissyCan Cant has not been high on my list of priorities of late. It’s not that I don’t want to write more, I just don’t have the same kind of down-time I used to, nor in all honesty, do words come as easily to me as they once did.
When I first started my blog, I had just left Texas and moved to Indiana where I knew no one. This blog was my connection to all of you. When we rushed back home to Kansas City because TC’s cancer came raging back, the blog took another unexpected turn and became both a means for me to vent as well as a way to keep all of you up on TC’s battle. When that battle was settled, notice I don’t say “lost”… the battle continues in TC and millions of other women’s names, I became very quiet, for obvious reasons.
I’m finding my way again, but clearly I’ve lost some of the wind in my sail. I think I used to write better back then and that baffles me. Maybe it’s just that the things I write, basically for amusement (both pre and post illness) will never rival the passion and love I put into writing about TC and even Dini. I think I’m finally back at square one now, and the original intention of this blog.
Understand this: my memory sucks. Anyone who knows me will tell you that; I’m talking serious suckage. The good news from my point of view at least, is stories don’t get old, good jokes are still funny the 2nd and 3rd time around, and I can honestly deny stories by saying… “No, that was NOT me dancing on top of that table with a bottle of tequila” and really mean it.
The downside goes something like this: We will go days without milk in the house, I spend great amounts of time trying to remember words like “ulna” just long enough for a broken arm to heal, and most of the time when I’m chatting with a casual acquaintance…. I have absolutely no idea what their name is.
I picture myself many years from now, rocking on my front porch as I read these entries. Some people journal, which I’ve attempted plenty of times, but more often than not, I forget. Others like me… blog. It’s the lazy man’s diary; I have very low expectations of myself. My only one in fact is that this blog provide me a window to my past during my golden years. I only wish I had started blogging sooner. According to my friends, I have some wicked stories from my past. Some that make me cringe on the outside when hearing them, yet at the same time, I feel a warm “devil be damned” attitude (or is it gratitude?) flowing through my veins. Somewhere, deep down in the bowels of my shaky memory… I do remember, (with a little help from my friends)… and I smile (wickedly) to myself.
But I digress. The whole point of this particular entry is to share my new sidebar. Even though I may not be writing my own words as often as I used to, I voraciously read other people. My taste in blogs is simple yet unforgiving; funny and/or well written, that’s all I require from my fellow bloggers. Obviously if someone can offer both… they’re a God to me. That brings me to the new Gizmo I’m adding to my front page, it’s called “My Blog List”. Although I view lots and lots of different blogs, the ones on this list are my “go-to” blogs, I don’t miss them. Two of them are God-like to me.
I’ve been reading “Dad Gone Mad®” for several years now; Danny Evans is split-your-gut funny. Occasionally, he is dead-on serious as well, but even in those entries he is able to inflict humor in a way I truly envy. His most common criticism by some readers is his proficient use and spicy variations of foul language; he strings naughty words together that might even make Mikey blush. In fact, he has even made up (and copyrighted) some of his own. I’ll leave you on your own to discover those gems! If you are not easily offended by colorful language, check out Dad Gone Mad®. Just one other warning… never read him while taking a slug of any kind of beverage. I can’t tell you how many times it has come out my nose because of him!
Joe Posnanski is my all-time favorite writer. He is a Kansas City Star sports columnist, who just (and finally) got picked up by Sports Illustrated, both the magazine and their online site. I have secretly lived in fear for several years now that Joe was going to be “found out” by a much larger marketplace than KC and whisked away. Joe has written two books, “Buy the Soul of Baseball: A Road Trip through Buck O’Neil’s America” about Buck O’Neil, a hero to most anyone who knows Buck’s story (and if fortunate enough to have met and heard him share his wisdom and grace in person, his status goes even higher.) And, “Buy the Good Stuff” a collection of his columns which contributed to Joe twice being named winner of the Associated Press Sports Editors national columnist of the year award. But Joe Posnanski does not just write about sports. In fact, he just wrote a review on the Bruce Springsteen concert, the same one that I attended and lamely wrote about here. Much like the concert, Joe’s review was magical. He is a true wordsmith and I wish I could take credit for a comment one of his readers left him after that review. She said, “Oh Joe. I wish you wrote everything I read.” So when you have some time, click on his link and indulge yourself, I promise you’ll keep going back for more.
And lastly, although not in the same category as the first two by a longshot, Snarkywood® was always a good giggle for me. I originally found it because Danny Evans of Dad Gone Mad® fame was a contributor. The two original founders, Martha and Jen are apparently also big in the blogosphere, but I never really kept up with them; there are only so many hours in the day and I have to pick my poison! Snarkywood® has actually shut its doors, (both founders have had books published and life has gotten in the way of their cattiness) and that’s exciting for any blogger with a pie-in-the-sky dream of writing a book someday. Danny Evans is also writing a book and has been either threatening to do so or actually trying since before I ever discovered him. When someone with his caliber of talent (and readership) is still “trying”, that’s a real mental hurdle for those of us with just a dream and not much more to back it up. Touché to them! So in the spirit of “making fun of over exposed Hollywood celebrities” … check out Snarkywood®.
If you have some personal favorites, send them my way. Just remember, although I’ll check them out… they have to be consistently hilarious or extremely well written to make the list. Both is best, and yes… I do realize how subjective this is!
When I first started my blog, I had just left Texas and moved to Indiana where I knew no one. This blog was my connection to all of you. When we rushed back home to Kansas City because TC’s cancer came raging back, the blog took another unexpected turn and became both a means for me to vent as well as a way to keep all of you up on TC’s battle. When that battle was settled, notice I don’t say “lost”… the battle continues in TC and millions of other women’s names, I became very quiet, for obvious reasons.
I’m finding my way again, but clearly I’ve lost some of the wind in my sail. I think I used to write better back then and that baffles me. Maybe it’s just that the things I write, basically for amusement (both pre and post illness) will never rival the passion and love I put into writing about TC and even Dini. I think I’m finally back at square one now, and the original intention of this blog.
Understand this: my memory sucks. Anyone who knows me will tell you that; I’m talking serious suckage. The good news from my point of view at least, is stories don’t get old, good jokes are still funny the 2nd and 3rd time around, and I can honestly deny stories by saying… “No, that was NOT me dancing on top of that table with a bottle of tequila” and really mean it.
The downside goes something like this: We will go days without milk in the house, I spend great amounts of time trying to remember words like “ulna” just long enough for a broken arm to heal, and most of the time when I’m chatting with a casual acquaintance…. I have absolutely no idea what their name is.
I picture myself many years from now, rocking on my front porch as I read these entries. Some people journal, which I’ve attempted plenty of times, but more often than not, I forget. Others like me… blog. It’s the lazy man’s diary; I have very low expectations of myself. My only one in fact is that this blog provide me a window to my past during my golden years. I only wish I had started blogging sooner. According to my friends, I have some wicked stories from my past. Some that make me cringe on the outside when hearing them, yet at the same time, I feel a warm “devil be damned” attitude (or is it gratitude?) flowing through my veins. Somewhere, deep down in the bowels of my shaky memory… I do remember, (with a little help from my friends)… and I smile (wickedly) to myself.
But I digress. The whole point of this particular entry is to share my new sidebar. Even though I may not be writing my own words as often as I used to, I voraciously read other people. My taste in blogs is simple yet unforgiving; funny and/or well written, that’s all I require from my fellow bloggers. Obviously if someone can offer both… they’re a God to me. That brings me to the new Gizmo I’m adding to my front page, it’s called “My Blog List”. Although I view lots and lots of different blogs, the ones on this list are my “go-to” blogs, I don’t miss them. Two of them are God-like to me.
I’ve been reading “Dad Gone Mad®” for several years now; Danny Evans is split-your-gut funny. Occasionally, he is dead-on serious as well, but even in those entries he is able to inflict humor in a way I truly envy. His most common criticism by some readers is his proficient use and spicy variations of foul language; he strings naughty words together that might even make Mikey blush. In fact, he has even made up (and copyrighted) some of his own. I’ll leave you on your own to discover those gems! If you are not easily offended by colorful language, check out Dad Gone Mad®. Just one other warning… never read him while taking a slug of any kind of beverage. I can’t tell you how many times it has come out my nose because of him!
Joe Posnanski is my all-time favorite writer. He is a Kansas City Star sports columnist, who just (and finally) got picked up by Sports Illustrated, both the magazine and their online site. I have secretly lived in fear for several years now that Joe was going to be “found out” by a much larger marketplace than KC and whisked away. Joe has written two books, “Buy the Soul of Baseball: A Road Trip through Buck O’Neil’s America” about Buck O’Neil, a hero to most anyone who knows Buck’s story (and if fortunate enough to have met and heard him share his wisdom and grace in person, his status goes even higher.) And, “Buy the Good Stuff” a collection of his columns which contributed to Joe twice being named winner of the Associated Press Sports Editors national columnist of the year award. But Joe Posnanski does not just write about sports. In fact, he just wrote a review on the Bruce Springsteen concert, the same one that I attended and lamely wrote about here. Much like the concert, Joe’s review was magical. He is a true wordsmith and I wish I could take credit for a comment one of his readers left him after that review. She said, “Oh Joe. I wish you wrote everything I read.” So when you have some time, click on his link and indulge yourself, I promise you’ll keep going back for more.
And lastly, although not in the same category as the first two by a longshot, Snarkywood® was always a good giggle for me. I originally found it because Danny Evans of Dad Gone Mad® fame was a contributor. The two original founders, Martha and Jen are apparently also big in the blogosphere, but I never really kept up with them; there are only so many hours in the day and I have to pick my poison! Snarkywood® has actually shut its doors, (both founders have had books published and life has gotten in the way of their cattiness) and that’s exciting for any blogger with a pie-in-the-sky dream of writing a book someday. Danny Evans is also writing a book and has been either threatening to do so or actually trying since before I ever discovered him. When someone with his caliber of talent (and readership) is still “trying”, that’s a real mental hurdle for those of us with just a dream and not much more to back it up. Touché to them! So in the spirit of “making fun of over exposed Hollywood celebrities” … check out Snarkywood®.
If you have some personal favorites, send them my way. Just remember, although I’ll check them out… they have to be consistently hilarious or extremely well written to make the list. Both is best, and yes… I do realize how subjective this is!
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